Spinster Shopping: One (Piece) Love
Since the chunk sitch has decided it's here to stay, I bit the bullet and ordered my first one piece swimsuit since childhood this year. It hasn't arrived yet, so I can't say for sure whether it's going to work out, but I assume there are many spinsters who find themselves pondering a one-piece this year, and perhaps more for fashion reasons than for camouflaging their chunk.
If you do find yourself looking for a one piece swimsuit this year, I must say you have some pretty excellent options. Today I've put together a little collage of some of the styles you might consider. They range from very affordable to a little less affordable. When I see one of these shopping collages in a magazine, I like to look at all the images first, choose the one I'd most like to purchase, and then scroll down to see if I can actually afford it. It's like a fun little game...until I realize that I've chosen something way out of my price range. I've tried to keep today's shopping options to the only-a-slight-splurge level.
Let's get to linking!
This swimsuit is everything. It's embroidered, it has underwire, and it had detachable straps. Plus, this color palette is my favorite. Why does it have to be $167, though? Oh, right, because it's amazing.
2. Suddenly Slim Origami One Piece: $32.96, Walmart
When I visited Walmart the other day, I discovered that they're carrying matching coverup shorts to go with some of their one piece swimsuits. Remember when they used to do that at Limited Too? Anyway, this swimsuit has a detachable strap at the neck and some sneaky folds to make you feel more comfortable parading around the beach or pool.
3. Retro Dresskini Top: $98, Spanx
Technically, this isn't really a one piece swimsuit. It's a swimsuit top that just covers whatever bottoms you decide to wear underneath. However, it is from Spanx, so hopefully it'll do a great deal to flatter your figure, even if it's so tight you can't breathe.
4. Aztec Ribbon Combo Swimsuit: $102, Tommy Hilfiger
I just love this all together. It's a strapless one piece with a textured stripe. It reminds me of one of my favorite swimsuits I ever had. Rest in peace to that old swimsuit's elastic, though. Rest in peace.
5. Women's Draped One Piece Stripe: $39.99, Target
If you were hoping to snag a Lily Pulitzer for Target swimsuit this year, and you didn't show up at Target before 8:30 AM yesterday, I'm afraid you're out of luck. If you're still in need of a one piece swimsuit that skillfully camouflages your belly problems, this one might just be for you. The crossover fabric with the stripes that change directions will trick the eye into thinking that any extra dimension is just a result of all that fabric.
6. Jaclyn Smith Women's One Piece Swimsuit: $27.99, Kmart
This is on the super affordable end of the spectrum. I like how the neckline of this swimsuit looks like a dress I'd want to wear. It's simple, it's flattering, and it's affordable. What's not to love?
7. Swim There, Fun That Swimsuit Top: $154.99, Modcloth
I just like this print and its colors. Also, it's got ruching and underwire cups. All in all, I'm pretty sure this is about as flattering as it gets.
8. Cut-Out One Piece: $52.50, Victoria's Secret:
This one is for the girl who hasn't got a chunk sitch in the waist region. I added it to this list, though, because black-and-neon combos are super trendy this season. I've been seeing them everywhere as I've been researching for some spinster shopping collages.
9. Pick and Blues One-piece swimsuit: $97.99, ModCloth
Part of me feels like this is a swimsuit to wear to water aerobics. The other part of me just loves it and doesn't care.
10. Plunge Scallop Swimsuit: $68, Topshop
This one looks like a one piece in the front and a bikini in the back. I love the scallops, and I love the bright red. All together super cute.
11. Fierce by Bettie Page, $89, Bettie Page
If you're looking for a retro swimsuit, you'd do well to check out Bettie Page. I own a couple of dresses from them, and they're so comfortable. I love the cut of this particular suit. Start practicing your pinup poses now!
12. Georgica Beach Bandeau Maillot: $151, Kate Spade
If I were going to splurge on a one piece this season, it would be from Kate Spade. I particularly like the big bow on this one. It also comes in light pink, black, and black and white stripe. If the one piece isn't for you, it also comes in a two-piece with a high waisted or low cut bikini bottom. Something to think about, spinsters. Something to consider.
I hope you've enjoyed perusing these swimsuits! Check back soon for more summer shopping guides!
